What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Do you know what she said mum?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

True - how I loved my mum!

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What! how could you do that?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

If you get a chance to have sex with either Kajal Agarwal or Samantha, who would you choose and why?

What do you mean son?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Why are people becoming increasingly hostile to pro-lifers? I am pro-life.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Why are white guys the top consumers of interracial porn? What's the rationale behind this phenomenon?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

When a dog smells another dog’s poo or wee, do they then remember that scent for when they smell it again, or even further know which dog they are smelling if they know the dog?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?